


To Have, to Own, to Hold V: Fault Lines

by Viridian5



Series: To Have, to Own, to Hold [5]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-08-15
Updated: 1998-08-15
Packaged: 2017-10-02 08:12:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viridian5/pseuds/Viridian5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One terrible night can make all the difference in a relationship.</p><p>Pendrell/"Weaknesses" Mulder (the Fox personality, here calling himself Michael)</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Have, to Own, to Hold V: Fault Lines

**Author's Note:**

> Main title from "Age of Greed" by Killing Joke.
> 
> A really great feedback letter for the "To Have..." and "Weaknesses" series got me moving on this one. Does this give you a happy, Kristi? It's got angst and everything!
> 
> Thanks to Alicia for beta-work, suggestions, the subtitle, gack etiquette, and forcing me to articulate the things _I_ knew so deeply that I didn't really write them into the rough drafts of the story. Thanks to Pares for saying yes after I asked her in a roundabout way for a little help on this one.
> 
> Takes place in the "Weaknesses" universe sometime after "[Weaknesses III: The Price We Pay](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4335)" but isn't in the story arc. You don't need to be familiar with the series to follow this story, but it wouldn't hurt. It certainly does wonders for my ego.

Michael was all but vibrating with excitement. "This is going to be great." All the movement made Daniel fear for the structural integrity of the tortilla chips Michael carried.

"Sure." Daniel didn't have the heart to tell Michael how nervous he felt. Danny had never been comfortable in large groups or party situations, and that was when he at least knew a few people there. He usually spent the night alone and tongue-tied in a corner.

This looked like a _huge_ party. Lights and ear-splitting noise spilled from the open windows and door of the run-down house. Daniel had to wonder why the neighbors hadn't called the cops yet. As they walked in the doorway, the scent of marijuana, cigarette smoke, and incense tickled the back of his throat and instantly took him back to his high school days.

A second later a huge, long-haired man grabbed him. Plunged into suffocating darkness, Daniel struggled weakly and tried to keep the bottle of salsa safe until he heard a rumbled, "Peace be with you, man." //He's hugging me. Calm down. Why the hell is he hugging me?// Then the stranger let Danny go and clutched Michael the same way. //Yeah, but Michael's tall enough that he doesn't get smothered.//

While Michael obviously struggled between relaxing into the hug and clocking the man, Danny took advantage of the opportunity to survey his surroundings. It looked like a regular house taken hostage by the counterculture, its mainstream, nuclear family lines and arrangement converted by its coverings into something very different. Colorful murals and graffiti covered walls lined by beat-up couches. Loud, recorded music fought with live drumming coming from a nearby room. Hippies, Goths, metalheads, freaks, and a few preppies mingled, against all natural order.

Daniel felt hopelessly mundane in these surroundings. //You can dress me up a little, but I'm still a fraud, and everyone here can see it.//

Once Michael had extricated himself from the friendly hippie, he grabbed Danny's arm and led him to the kitchen. Danny could have sworn that the greeter hadn't held _him_ that long. //Would it really surprise you if the bastard copped a feel? I mean, _look_ at Michael.//

Michael had dressed in his casual best: ankh necklace, tight T-shirt, tight jeans, combat boots buffed to a high shine. Danny could tell by the crisp, new black of the outfit that Michael saw this party as personally important, understandable since Danny rarely agreed to go to parties with him. On lesser occasions he wore faded black.

Dressed in his own black T-shirt and jeans, Danny felt like he had a target painted on his back, even among people who wouldn't see the outfit as unusual. _Especially_ among those people.

Michael swore he knew only the person who had invited him, but he said hi to everyone and... _looked_ at them. Danny fought down a surge of jealousy, knowing Michael was like that with everyone. He couldn't help himself. Michael flirted with the world. If only the world wouldn't always flirt back....

//Look at him, especially when he's happy, like now. The world can't help itself.//

A woman with blue hair wearing raw silk layers in a multitude of colors grabbed Michael by the shoulders and kissed him on both cheeks. "Michael, baby, you made it!"

"Wouldn't miss it, Suz. I brought my love and munchies."

Suz grinned at Danny. "So you're the one who snared Michael? Welcome to the party."

//Yeah, and I can see you're wondering how I managed it. You can just keep wondering.//

As Michael and Daniel put their offerings on the table, they heard screaming from the yard: "Free! Come back, Free!"

"Excuse me. They'll never catch the dog while they're stoned. If I find out Steve has been feeding it acid again, I'll flay him myself." She ran out, gauzy skirts flying, and screamed, "Free! Here, boy! Mommy will rescue you from the bad men!"

//All the neighbors must have moved out by now.// Danny grabbed a beer bottle and emptied it in one pull. Maybe it would relax him or help this party make more sense. //Why am I here?// He turned to face Michael and saw the older man watching him with hungry eyes.

"Do that to me later?" Michael asked in a low, husky voice.

Danny shivered. //Oh, yeah, that's why I'm here.//

Dancing a little, Michael took Danny by the arm and led him to the room the live drumming was coming from. People sat on the old couches and the floor in a circle and played a variety of small drums and bongos, just jamming. One person got up and handed a tambourine to someone else. The crowd applauded as the new person hit the tambourine against her leg with a vigor that had to leave bruises. Another very stoned hippie girl got up and started to do a sinuous dance to a song she must have been hearing in her head, because her movements had nothing to do with the drumming or the CD that played.

"Looks like fun. Is there a waiting list for a drum?" Michael asked one of the hangers-on.

"You just have to be here when someone leaves the circle and jump for it."

"Thanks."

A mural of rolling purple hills covered one wall. As Danny looked at it more closely, he realized the hills were actually arms and hands. It disturbed him. //How can people trip in this house without doing themselves permanent damage?//

With all the candles and people packing it, the room felt murderously hot. Danny knew himself well enough to know that right now he would be looking flushed and sweaty, which always made him feel ugly. By comparison, Michael glowed from the heat, gaining a light sheen that highlighted the fine features of his face. //It's just not fair.// The noise and all the people pressed on Danny, making him feel small.

The young man Michael had asked about the drumming was still talking to him, leaning in far too closely.... A stunningly beautiful daughter of the night hovered on the other side, asking if Michael had ever played before. Danny started on another beer.

They sat for a while, with Michael bopping his head to the drumming and Danny nursing his beer, feeling something dark in his stomach grow until it started to climb up his throat. Realizing that no one intended to give up a drum soon, Michael asked, "Dance with me, Danny?"

Danny thought of the audience that hippie girl had drawn as she danced. "No, not now." When he saw the look of disappointment on Michael's face, Danny thought, //Why don't you ask one of your new friends? They don't look ridiculous with you like I do....//

"Is something wrong?"

//I have to get away.// "No. I just need the little boy's room."

"Are you sure?"

"For God's sake, Michael, I'm fine. I just need directions," Danny snapped. Michael actually looked a little cowed.

"Up the stairs. It's the second door on your left," the Goth chick said.

//I'm sure you can't wait to get rid of me.// "Thanks." Danny got up and picked up another two beers on the way out. As he awkwardly climbed the steep steps, Danny tried to keep control of his emotions. //This isn't your world anymore. You've gotten old and staid. But it hurts....

//God, any one of these people would be a better match for Michael than I am. He has to see it. It's only a matter of time. Doesn't mean I have to watch.//

Danny found an unoccupied dark bedroom and almost hurt himself tripping through the doorway. The incident left him dizzy. Closing the door cut down on the noise. He sat down on the floor with his back to a corner and put his head on his knees.

******************************************************

Justine wanted to dance too, so Fox got up with her and swayed around the floor to one of the slower songs. Her elegant hands immediately slid down to his ass. He sighed and smiled a little. /The game never changes..../ She was small, so he could sometimes pretend that he was dancing with Danny, although the sandalwood scent in her long blue-black hair kept breaking the illusion.

Danny still hadn't returned, and Fox was starting to get worried. Fox couldn't quite say why he felt so nervous about his lover's absence. The people here were nice, so no one would attack Danny, and the house was small enough that it was impossible to get truly lost. But he thought of the nasty way Danny had spoken before he left.

/But I asked him if he was okay, and he said he was fine. If he had problems here, he would tell me, right? I'm the one who has the problems..../

******************************************************

As Danny drank alone in the dark, his mind kept throwing images at him. That beautiful Goth girl probably had no inhibitions about dancing. He imagined her moving close to Michael, hip to hip, before starting to kiss him. He saw Michael, a little hesitant at first maybe, gradually giving himself over to her, kissing back, deeper and deeper. Their hands would start to roam desperately over one another, stroking and fondling, tearing clothing away.... Finally, Michael would be entwined with her, ravenously kissing her perfect, creamy skin, making her moan as he thrust into her.

He saw a similar possibility with Michael and the other man, culminating in Danny's lover writhing in total abandon as the handsome stranger fucked him. He saw all three of them together, thoroughly and desperately exploring one another. Every scenario possible danced its way across his fevered mind. Either or both of the interlopers made a better visual match with Michael's beauty.

Once Daniel's brain finished torturing him with pornographic images of those two, it started to pair other people at the party with Michael. Every single person Michael had smiled at. It made a long list. Rage pounded behind Danny's eyes, even as he felt a lump in his throat and his eyes starting to tear.

Worse, the scenarios kept turning him on. //Damn you, Michael. Damn you for making me feel this way.//

******************************************************

After 25 minutes of ever-increasing worry, Michael broke loose from his dance partner. "I'm going to check on Danny. I'll be back."

Justine pouted. "Oh, c'mon, he's a big boy. Well, in a manner of speaking...."

/You bitch./ "You just became a lot less attractive." Michael left her to sputter impotently in his wake. He took the stairs two at a time and started to knock on, then open, doors. He surprised two couples, but neither minded his interruption much. One invited him in, and he declined.

One room had a guy who looked like he rode with a motorcycle gang, providing free piercing services. Fox felt a pang of want but knew Mulder would kill him for it.

//And these are _far_ from the most sterile conditions,// Mulder said.

/All right! Geez! Be helpful. Where do you think Danny went?/

//We still have three more rooms to check. After that, I would try the basement.//

/I don't understand this at all..../

//Maybe he feels uncomfortable.//

/But I _asked_! If he wanted to go, he only had to say so! He's too important to me..../

Hearing the panicked, wounded child in Fox's voice, Mulder applied a more calming tone. //He had a few beers. Maybe they hit him suddenly, and he needed to sit down somewhere quiet.//

/That's good, that's good./

[Are you driving that poor boy to drink, Fox?] William asked with a sneer.

/If you can't be helpful, shut up! I need to think here..../

In the second room he tried after that, Fox saw a movement in the shadows. "Danny?"

"Finally noticed I was gone, hunh?" The voice sounded dark and ugly and had a familiar tone in it that made Fox's heart shrivel.

/Daddy?/

"You told me... told me you were fine, and didn't want me asking about you...."

Fox kneeled down in front of the sitting shadow. The overwhelming smell of alcohol on Danny's breath made Fox gag and reminded him of other nights long ago, of another ugly drunk. Of the things that ugly drunk made him do....

Panicked, Mulder buried himself deep, taking Fox Mulder with him, and went utterly silent, until Fox couldn't even feel their presence anymore. William watched impassively and recorded everything, as he always did. Baby cried softly to himself, prepared to scream if things got worse.

Things always got worse.

"And you believed that, Michael? Didn't you _look_? Couldn't you see?"

"That's... not fair. You told me...."

"You were too busy flirting with your new groupies to notice anything else."

"Danny, I love you, but you're scaring me. Please come away with me?"

"My God, you're a filthy little slut, do you know that?"

/Oh, God, please don't say these things to me./ "Danny...."

A hand flew out of the darkness and hit Fox's face with stinging force and a loud cracking sound. The skin burned, and the slap made Fox's eyes water, but he held the tears back. Daddy had punished tears, and Fox had sworn he would never waste them on the bastard. He had some pride. A little. But the slap didn't hurt as much as what Danny had just said, and Fox wanted to scream and never stop....

/You were different. You were so kind and wonderful. Was it all a lie? A set-up for a more baroque torture a few months down the line when I let down all my defenses and trusted you? Get a few drinks in you, and you're just like Dad. Just like..../

"Leave me the fuck alone, Michael. Go back down there to your friends. Do whatever you want with them. I don't want anything that's been sampled by so many people."

Fox bit his fist, wishing for the X-acto knife blade he had once used to make the small cuts in his flesh that helped manage the pain. This would have to do.

"Yes, sir," Fox said softly before he backed away and closed the door behind him. He slid down the wall and sat down on the floor. Fighting back tears, he felt his face burn, the mark of Danny's hand like a red brand on his skin.

/I'm so fucking stupid. So fucking stupid.... Am I that bad a judge of character? Or am I just looking for Dad, as sick as that is?/

"He doesn't appreciate you, you know," a feminine voice said above him. "He doesn't know how to treat you."

Fox looked up to see an elegantly dressed woman and her two male escorts gazing down at him. He could tell that the sympathetic friendliness they wore thinly covered something dark and predatory. Neither of the men was all that tall, but they loomed large to Fox somehow. The small, lean Goth one especially had too-intense eyes....

/I'm too tired for this./ "He's having a bad night."

The woman crouched down. Her slaves made a protective circle, blocking her and Fox from anyone's view.... "Let us make it up to you, dear?" She touched the side of his face Danny hadn't hit, and Fox couldn't help leaning into the gentle touch.

/Pathetic. I'd thought I'd come so far..../

[So far? You're right back where you started, boy,] William said. [You got personally involved. It was a mistake that let you get hurt. Now you know better.]

/You just want things back the way they've always been./

[The way they've always been is _safe_, Fox.]

In a way, William was right. Fox thought of years of one-night stands, the desperate grabbing for some kind of affection, no matter how illusory or temporary. It wasn't like his condition and on-again, off-again life provided a good foundation for a stable relationship. At least he had been safe, protected from any real hurt.

Alex Krycek, oddly enough, and Danny had given Fox an expectation that things could be different, better, that Fox didn't have to be the world's playtoy. But Krycek was a traitor and a killer, and Danny-- Danny had just ripped Fox's heart out and stomped on it, come close to calling him a whore, made him lose faith in his judgment.

/Maybe he's just a really bad drunk. Maybe he didn't really mean any of it. Maybe..../ Fox knew this territory by heart. He lived on hope and generous interpretations.

Not that any of it mattered. Fox would take the verbal and physical abuse if Danny showed him a little sugar once in a while. No one else did.

But it would be a long time before Fox would trust Daniel again. Maybe never.

"Come out of the hallway, dear. We don't bite."

/You're lying./ But Fox stood up and followed them anyway.

******************************************************

Danny nursed his last beer in darkness. //Was I a bit rough on him? No. Better to dump him than wait for him to dump me. Better this way for both of us....//

The door crashed open, and the light went on, searing his eyes. "There you are! What the hell did you say to him?" the blue-haired girl he'd last seen in the kitchen shouted, splitting his head.

"What th' hell are you talking about?" It disgusted Danny to hear how sloppy his words sounded. //I didn't have that much....//

"Michael! This group is messing with him and dragging him out, and he's not fighting them. He looks like he's not even home in there. I never saw anyone just phase out like that, just gone.... He was so happy when he got here; what did you say to him?"

Danny tried to think of anything he could have said to make him responsible for that. Nope. "Nothin'. Lemme alone."

"Fucking useless! You don't deserve him!" She slammed the door behind her as she ran out.

//You are _so_ right, sister.// To his disgust, he realized that he would have to get up to turn the painful light off. As he stood, the world did a crazy, swaying swing. The girl's words echoed through his head.

"What did you say to him?... This group is messing with him and dragging him out, and he's not fighting them. It's like he's not even home in there... phase out like that, just gone... What did you say to him?

"What did you say to him?

"This group is messing with him and dragging him out, and he's not even fighting them. It's like he's not even home in there...."

Sobriety hit Daniel so hard, he rocked with it as he realized what he had done. //Oh, God, I just stomped every single self-destruct button Michael has. He was--and I just got drunk and said... and said... Oh, God--//

Daniel almost killed himself flying down the steps. While his mind had cleared, the alcohol still ruled his body.

The blue-haired girl--Suz, Danny remembered now--held valiantly onto the arm of a very cold and elegant looking woman who directed her two male companions to keep taking Michael out the door. Michael looked almost mindless as he stood quietly in their grip.

"Is he complaining or protesting? No. I won't take this kind of harassment...."

"Let him go," Daniel said. "He's not going anywhere with you."

She turned to him with a sneer. "You threw him away like trash. You can hardly blame me for recycling the lovely boy."

Michael seemed to come to at the sound of Daniel's voice. He looked ashamed and overwhelmed. Danny could swear he saw a faint red mark in the shape of his hand on Michael's face and felt his soul shrivel further.

//I don't deserve you, Michael.// "Let him go."

The woman laughed. "What will you do if we don't?"

"I'll fight you for him." The two men weren't all that muscular, but there were two of them, and the look in their eyes scared Danny. They looked like people who got off on causing and receiving pain. //Fight them, and probably get myself humiliated or killed, but I can't let them take Michael.//

At that moment Michael kicked one of his escorts in the groin and slammed the other one's head into the doorway. Surprised, they never had a chance to defend themselves. With one man doubled over on the floor and the other one bleeding and unconscious, Michael turned to face the woman. "_I'll_ fight you for me," he said.

She stared Michael down and obviously had to fight against disbelief and confusion. Tension crackled in the air between them. Daniel was afraid of what she might say next. Normally, Danny would be certain Michael would come out on top, but Michael still looked a little shaky, with a slightly fragile air that suggested the right word would shatter him. //I did that to him.//

The woman noticed that a crowd had finally gathered to watch. Her expression turned even more brittle.

"When those two can travel, everybody make sure these three get their sorry asses out of here," Suz said as she pulled Michael away. "They threatened one of my guests."

Seeing the way the tide had turned, the woman stepped out over the bodies of her companions. She left silently without looking back. Two of Suz's hippie friends dragged the men out to the curb and left them there like trash for pick up.

Danny felt so ashamed of himself he couldn't look Michael in the face, especially not with the mark of his hand emblazoned on the older man's cheek. Feeling the staring eyes of the crowd on his back, greedily drinking everything in, Daniel took Michael by the arm, walked until he found an unoccupied room, and closed the door behind them. Michael didn't resist or say a word.

Michael sat down on one of the couches, leaned back until his head met the wall, and closed his eyes. He looked ashamed.

//No, you're the not the one who should feel ashamed here!// "I'm so sorry. You don't need me at all. I'm useless. I'm worse than useless; I actually hurt you."

"Don't be an idiot, Danny. If you hadn't come down, I would have gone away with them and let them do anything they wanted," Michael said softly.

//That doesn't make me feel any better. I don't deserve to feel better. Oh, God, Michael....// "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I said such horrible, lying things to you. I hit you...."

"Yeah. Are you okay, Danny?" Michael asked in an echo of his earlier question.

Danny paused a long moment before speaking. "No, no, I'm not. No, I wasn't," he said softly. //Time to do what I should have done from the start.// Once the words started, they tumbled out in a rush. "I don't know anyone here, and crowds make me uncomfortable, and I realized that, much as I would like to, I don't fit in with this group anymore, and I saw the whole house flirting back at you, and you're gorgeous, and I'm not, but you were happy, and I didn't want you to leave just for me, so I started drinking to blunt the pain, and I just made it all worse and hurt you...."

Michael nodded. "Okay. I should have seen all that."

Danny knelt down in front of him. "This isn't your fault! None of it is! You couldn't have known. I should have said something, and I never should have started drinking. I'm a terrible drunk."

Michael's wide eyes looked so hurt and so young that Daniel wanted to die looking at him. "So, we don't let this happen next time, okay?" Michael said.

//Next time?// He repeated it stupidly, "Next time?"

"Do you want to go home?" Michael asked, his voice still sounding flatter than it should, leached of much of its warmth. The wariness in it, the sense of holding back, made Daniel want to cry.

The thought of going home tempted, especially going home with Michael, but Danny felt he hadn't begun to pay for what he had done. "I owe you a dance."

"I don't want this to be a punishment thing for you. I won't dance with you if I know you're not enjoying it."

//How can we know each other this well at times, and then still screw up so royally?// "I'll enjoy it."

"No, you won't. We'll go home." Michael stood and helped Danny up. Danny's head spun, and he could feel his stomach moving up his throat. He fought it back down.

When they reached the hallway, the crowd had already dispersed, to Daniel's relief. Only Suz, looking worried, remained. She offered them a bowl.

Danny at first thought she'd anticipated his urge to throw up, but then saw the pile of colored stones in it. "I can't let you go without a parting gift. Everybody will get one," she said, mostly to Michael. She wouldn't look at Danny. Michael choose a small amethyst quartz crystal chunk, with spikes of purple rising from an amethyst and quartz base that looked like ices.

Danny let his hand roam through the bowl until it closed on a cool, oval stone. He saw pale green on his palm when he pulled it out. Jade.

Michael let Suz hug him good-bye, then led Danny out into the cold night air. The temperature change hit Danny like a fist to the gut. He managed to hold back until they reached the curb, where he fell to his knees, retching. Michael held him until the spasms passed, then led him to the car, carefully settled him into the passenger seat, and belted him in.

As the door slammed, Danny closed his eyes. //I am such a fuck-up. Stupid, stupid.... How can Michael ever trust me again?// His hand closed on the cool, smooth stone, and he tried to use the sensation to ground himself.

"If you need to throw up, tell me, and I'll stop," Michael said. It was the last thing he said for the rest of the ride. He listened impassively to Daniel's repeated rambling apologies and promises. The words, "Never again, I swear to you. I love you. I swear I'll make it up to you. I'm sorry," were featured prominently. Danny had to ask him to pull over three times before they got to the apartment.

When they arrived, Michael unlocked the door and turned on a single dim light. Danny wandered into the bathroom and brushed his teeth viciously, trying to scrub the beer and vomit taste from his mouth but also trying to erase the whole evening. He spat blood and toothpaste into the sink. He looked into the mirror at a face by turns corpse-pale and drunkard-flushed. Ugly. He put his toothbrush back on the rack next to Michael's black one.

"You okay?" Michael asked from outside the door.

"Yeah. I'm going to take a shower."

Danny turned the water on as cold as he could stand and shivered miserably under it. He felt like cold stones were pounding his head, and gooseflesh came up all over his body, but he felt sober. //God, I saw two uncles struggle with the bottle and how nasty they were under the influence, and I still tried to use drink to make things easier. Stupid, Danny, real stupid. And God knows what I did to Michael. He's been so quiet....//

He finished the shower and wrapped a towel around himself. He reached automatically for the blue silk robe that hung from a nearby hook but stopped the gesture. He couldn't wear Michael's luxurious present tonight. He knew he didn't deserve it.

He walked out with just the towel, shivering from the cool air, and saw Michael sitting on the couch absently stroking Mr. Whiskers. Michael looked up, and he looked so completely beaten that Daniel winced inside.

"My turn," Michael said quietly before he took his things into the bathroom.

Daniel settled onto the couch, wrapped his grandmother's afghan around himself, and closed his eyes. He would let Michael have the bed tonight. Mr. Whiskers nudged his hand with her head. Wik always knew when he didn't feel well and came over to try to cheer him up. //I don't deserve you either. Maybe if I go to sleep, I can wake up in the morning and find out that none of this really happened. That it was all just a bad dream.//

Daniel passed out and came to at the sound of a warm voice saying, "I understand punishment, but this is a bit ostentatious. You'll catch your death out here."

Michael dragged him up from the couch and led him to the bedroom. "No, after what I've done...." Danny protested.

"Shush." Michael pulled the comforters up around them and snuggled into Danny. "Damn, you're cold. You should see some of the things I've done when I was feeling insecure." Michael kissed him.

"I don't--"

"I love you. What do I have to do to make you believe it?" Michael clutched him tightly, trying to transfer heat, and refused to let him pull away.

Daniel realized that Michael, one of the most tactile people he'd ever met, _needed_ this, the reassurance of touch. Daniel relaxed into him and stroked his back, murmuring, "I'm sorry. I'll kill myself before I do that to you again."

Michael shivered. "It hurt."

"Never again, Michael," Daniel said as he gently nuzzled his lover's neck. "I don't deserve you...."

Wrapped in Michael's warmth, Danny faded into sleep.

******************************************************

Next Friday, they stayed in for a quiet evening. Daniel sat on the couch with Michael's head resting on his lap, while Michael used Wik's purring body on his chest as a bookstand. Danny gently stroked his lover's soft brown hair and tried not to feel so damned guilty. The new reserve between them didn't help either.

Danny knew he would have to earn Michael's trust back, and he knew it would take a while. He also knew that Michael was more than worth it.

"I know you like to go out and party, Michael--"

Michael sighed, but obviously more in contentment than annoyance. "Danny, this is nice. Trust me."

//I really have to learn how to do that.// "I have something for you."

Michael sat up, and his vibrant green eyes sparkled for the first time in a while. "Really?"

//Like a kid at Christmas.... Damn, he's beautiful.// "I put the order in four weeks ago, so it has nothing to do with last weekend. I'm not trying to buy you."

"Danny, you know I have no patience. What is it?"

Daniel picked a plain box up from the end table and handed it to Michael, who spent one moment studying it before he ripped into it. He carefully smoothed ivory tissue paper away before he reached in and lifted the item out.

"Oh, Danny, it's beautiful." Michael held a small black marble statue in his hands. Michael the Archangel stood triumphant with his foot on the neck of the vanquished dragon, Satan. He held a set of scales in one hand and a burning sword in the other. The artist had articulated every feather on the angel's wings, every scale on the dragon. Buffed to a high shine, the statue gleamed in the lamplight.

"Do you like it?" Danny asked softly.

"It's--it's incredible. No one has ever gotten me anything like this before." Michael traced the face with his fingers.

"I remember the way you stared at the statuary in that booth at the bazaar we went to. I put a specialty order in."

"This must have cost a fortune."

"Not too much. It's small."

Michael gave him a dubious look. Danny just shrugged and smiled. "This is the way I see you, Michael, refusing to let the dragon win."

"I love it. Let me show you how much." Michael gently put the statue down on the coffee table, taking a moment to arrange it just so, then pulled him closer for a kiss. Daniel felt a lessening of Michael's reserve in the fierceness of the lips against his and the possessiveness of the hands that roamed under his shirt and, finally, into his pants.

Daniel knew he hadn't fully regained Michael's trust, nor did he feel he'd deserved to yet. Not with a gift, a bribe. The thought and care behind the gift was a different story.

As Danny's mouth trailed down Michael's chest, before it stopped at its intended destination and swallowed him whole, Michael gasped, "I thought I'd be the one doing the thanking." Soon he couldn't say anything coherent at all, just moan Daniel's name and try not to buck too hard.

Saying "I love you" with gifts and sex wasn't enough, of course. But as Danny lost himself in his lover, he hoped it could at least be a start.

 

### End


End file.
